Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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