do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
