how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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