at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
