I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
