There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
