I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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