we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
