we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
