then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
