Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
