Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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