shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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