Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
