You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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