Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
