I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
