if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
