I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
