Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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