How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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