I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
