The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
