A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
