i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
