I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize