I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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