Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
