In the future we'll all be gay
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
