You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
