can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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