Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
