she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize