good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
