This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
