My underwear smells like fireworks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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