i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
