I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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