i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
