have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
