drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
