the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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