Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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