Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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