YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's never too late to be topless.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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