marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
