a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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