Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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