Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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