Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also, beer. Big fan.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
