Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
