Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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