She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
