I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My liver just had a heart attack.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize