Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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