Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
