Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
